My name is Sarah. I am 25yrs old. I recently found my first grey hairs, so I am officially old. I am sort of a single mum. I have two beautiful daughters, Bella who is 5yrs old(off to primary school next year) and Brooklyn who is 2.5yrs old. I am engaged to the most amazing person I have ever met.
So here's the history of me, those defining moments in life that change you.
Chapter 1
I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness. At the age of 18 I decided I no longer wanted to be a part of the religion. Scared of what to say to my parents, I went to my brothers house after work one day and didn't come home. I remember leaving a note for my parents, but I have no memory of what this note actually said.
I instantly had a crush on my brothers house mate, so I moved out of home and In with my brother and his house mate and that was the start of my first major relationship. 1month after being together I fell pregnant.
I always wanted to be a mum, but I really had no idea of what was to come.
I found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a partner who was cheating on me. he denied cheating on me whenever he was confronted about it and although deep down I knew the truth, I wanted to believe what he was saying. At 23 weeks pregnant I found myself in a situation I would wish upon nobody. While at work I went into labour and my waters broke. I had no idea what having my waters brake even was. I walked out of work crying not knowing what had just happened. I drove to my parents house and they then rushed me to hospital.
After 5 hours my tiny princess was born sleeping. Miss Ellie-Rose.
She was the most amazing perfect little being. The emotions that followed were like none I have ever experienced before, and something I would not wish even on my worst enemy.
As we sat in the hospital with our families and dressed our daughter and held her.. My partner would not hold her. I still to this day do not understand why he did not want to. I still wish I could ask him why. It broke my heart even further.
That night we left for home empty handed, not realising that I would never be the same person again. Over the next week we planned our daughters funeral.. Something no parent should ever have to do.
Two weeks after her birth my partner cheated on me again. That was the final straw. I packed my bags and moved back home...
Chapter 2
Following the loss of my daughter, I went off the rails, drinking and partying. I decided to move away from everyone and everything and start a fresh, somewhere where no one knew me or knew of my past.
I moved to Newcastle and was house sharing with 2 other people.
My house mate worked at the local pub so my time after work would be spent down there. It was there that I met the father of my two girls.
We started dating and again I fell pregnant very early in our relationship.
At age 20, I gave birth to my eldest daughter, bella. 16months later we married. When bella was 2 and a half our second daughter was born.
During my pregnancy with our second child, I discovered that my husband had cheated on me. I then also found messages he had been sending to another woman. I tried to hold it together. I tried for two long years to make things work. But in the end, I could not move past it. It was unforgivable.
I had been suffering from post natal depression since our first child was born. I was so far down in my state of depression that I decided I had to do something. It was then that in order to be a better mum to my girls, I needed to be happy and I decided that I would be happier alone for the rest of my life, than stuck in an unhappy relationship.
So the big move began. My girls and I moved out...
Chapter 3
My older sister, the wild and free spirit, had been including me in some of her crazy adventures. One of those happened to be a night out to watch the local pro wrestling show. It was there that the announcer caught me eye and I his. Conversations started and slowly a friendship was formed. I had already made the decision to separate from my husband when I met the announcer, but had not told my husband of this yet. Although I was prepared to spend the rest of my life alone in order to be out of an unhappy relationship, coming to the realisation that It was possible for a male to actually take an interest in me, despite feeling broken and unlovable, made me realise that my decision was for the best.
So my husband and I separated. After separating I started seeing the announcer (whom shall be referred to as Mr G from now on), then we started dating. It became clear very quickly that our souls were in tune with each others. Our heads tick in the same way.
He eventually met my daughters and it was love at first sight. My daughters had found their first crush and I would forever be competing for his attention from this point on.
In June of this year, Mr G and I got engaged. He got down on one knee in the middle of the jewellers and proposed. While a wedding is still a few years away yet, I am still planning every last detail already.. As you do.
I am very fortunate. My separating from my husband gave him the wake up call of his life. While it was too little too late for us, it was the best thing to happen for him and the girls. He now understands the importance of enjoying every moment with his children and never taking those you love for granted.
I am proud to say that my girls have a father who takes a very active role in their lives and is always there for them and me whenever I need his help with them.
Mr G will never take the place of their father, but he has become a best friend to my girls. He plays an important role in helping me raise the girls, moulding them, guiding them and being an outstanding role model for them to look up.
Mr G and I are saving to buy a house, so he still lives at home with his parents and saves all his pennies while the girls and I live in a house by ourselves. So in this sense, I still refer to myself as a single parent.
My girls make every hard moment all worth while. Seeing their smiling faces, hearing their giggles and watching them sleep. I love them to the moon and back. While my life might be a little different from the normal, I wouldn't change a thing right now.
I finally know what true happiness is.
1 yr anniversary with Mr G is fast approaching. What on earth do I buy him?
Sarah xx
Happy snaps of my fiancé and I
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